And Away We Go!!!

Tomorrow morning I'll be heading out with the Junior and Senior High to Everitt, MI for our Winter Retreat! I'm so excited! Last year was the first one and as great as it was, my heart was not in it. I admit I went for all the wrong reasons. I had fun tubing and horseback riding and hanging out with my girls, but my mind was elsewhere for the four days there. I look forward to the upcoming days to spend with my small group and grow closer with them and with God. I truly believe this week is gonna be huge for myself and for them. I pray for His strength and His guidance in being a good and effective leader for the Junior Highers. I pray for openness and vulnerability within myself to allow Him to work in and through me. And I pray against the attacks and distractions of the enemy. I know that God will be with us every second. I just pray that myself and everyone else comes with an expectant heart for Him to do His works.

Wish me luck! I'm off to get some sleep! It'll be the most sleep I get for the next two weeks!

The Meaning of Life

I was recently reading Ecclesiastes and came across this:

Eccl. 1, V.2 "'Meaningless! Meaningless!' says the teacher. 'Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless!"

As I read on, it came to my realization, that everything IS meaningless! The countless worries and stress and troubles and drama and crazy busy lives...they are meaningless! The struggles we have today, have been lived through before. The gossip we spread around today, has been spread around before. The things that we try to do to make our lives better, guess what? It's already been done. Nothing in this world is new. Yeah, yeah, there's technology and houses and toys and cars... But the sole root of our lives (our hearts) are not new. In today's world, it's so common to focus on our problems, stress, or even the happiness and joy of our lives. But what do those things really mean in the whole scheme of things? Nothing!

It's rather crazy to think of our lives as they are in the length of eternity. Ha. Makes me feel so small and insignificant. BUT, despite what "the teacher" has to say, there is a meaning to life. Our purpose here on earth is not meaningless. Developing and strengthening a relationship with Christ and spreading His love and grace to others to further His kingdom--THAT is meaningful!

Take Home Alone

I think movies are becoming my source of deep thoughts or something. Last week was "The Blind Side" which I watched for the first time. This week, it's a movie I've been watching since I was little..."Home Alone 2." Every Monday night, a group of my friends and I hang out and watch a movie or two. Last night, well you guessed it, we watched the first two "Home Alone" movies. Yeah, classic Christmas movie indeed. In the spirit of Christmas we often have alot of things running around in our heads. Whether it be all the things we need to get done before the holidays arive, the places we still have to go, the cards we still need to send out. Or sometimes when we slow down a little bit, the things we think about usually involve the many things we are blessed with and how we can bless others for the Christmas season. Perhaps, due to one year ending and one beginning, we think about the many resolutions that we've made and have never gone through with, or we think about the person we were a year ago and how much, if any, change has occured. We obviously want to be better people, or at least I would hope so, but sometimes thinking about the past brings up things we don't want to see. I digress.

The thought running through my mind from last night is a clip from the second "Home Alone" movie. Our favorite little Kevin McCallister is lost in New York, where the formerly known "wet bandits" have now escaped to. Throughout his journey of running, hiding, and pranking, he meets the Bird Lady. As intimidating or scary as she looks, she actually turns out to be a very sweet women. In this scene, she takes Kevin to the attic of an Opera house where she lives. And this discussion is had:

Bird Lady: The man I loved fell out of love with me. That broke my heart. When the chance to be loved came along again, i ran away from it. I stopped trusting people.
Kevin McCallister: No offense, but that seems like sort of a dumb thing to do.
Bird Lady: I was afraid of getting my heart broken again. Sometimes you can trust a person, and then, when things are down, they forget about you.
Kevin McCallister: Maybe they're just too busy. Maybe they don't forget about you, buy they forget to remember you. People don't mean to forget. My grandfather says if my head wasn't screwed on, I'd leave it on the school bus.
Bird Lady: I'm just afraid if I do trust someone, I'll get my heart broken.
Kevin McCallister: I understand. I had a nice pair of Rollerblades once. I was afraid to wreck them, so I kept them in a box. Do you know what happened? I outgrew them. I never wore them outside. Only in my room a few times.
Bird Lady: A person's heart and feelings are very different than skates.
Kevin McCallister: They're kind of the same thing. If you won't use your heart, who cares if it gets broken? If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it'll be like my Rollerblades. When you do decide to try it, it won't be any good. You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose...Your heart might still be broken, but it isn't gone.

That's pretty deep for a little kid, I'd say. But he was right. What is the point of having a heart if we don't ever use it? If we don't open it up for other people to see it? If we hide our hearts, it's the same thing as if it was getting ripped apart. I'd be on the same boat with the Bird Lady in saying that about a year ago, I did have a broken heart. And with that, I stopped opening up to alot of people. I hid my heart from everyone around me so as to not let it get broken again. While I'm still working with having trust issues, I have been able to open my heart to others alot more in the past few months. I know that I was given a heart to use for others and not to keep it for myself. Whether out of selfish ambitions or hidden motives, our hearts are not meant to be hidden from the world. Opening up ourselves for people to see the good that is within us and that can be shared to others is one of God's most important commandments. Kevin McCallister, as ornery and stubborn as he may be sometimes, has a great point. And although it may be hard to take advice from a child so young, I think it would benefit us all.

The Giving of Thanks

I recently had the opportunity to go see the movie "The Blind Side" with a friend of mine. I had no idea what the movie was about or what I was supposed to expect. All I knew was that Sandra Bullock was in it, she was blonde, and there was alot of hype about the film.

If you don't know anything about the storyline, just stop reading and go see it before it's ruined for you. Seriously, stop reading.

Now, for those of you who know the story, then I don't need to go into much detail about it. The movie was based on a true story about a young black man who gets moved out of his neighborhood in the Projects to the upper class neighborhood on the other side of town. He's transferred to a private, Christian high school with a 100% white population. The main reason he gets moved into this school? His size. With his large stature, the football coach sees success for his team. While "Big Mike" struggles with his grades and finding his 'niche' for football, he's also changing the lives of an upper class family that takes him in. They are very wealthy and very well known with their charities and such. "Big Mike" slowly shows them through his few words and abundant actions what little things they take for granted that he never had. He goes on to eventually play football in college and then gets drafted for the pro-league. All because of the love of a family.

As I left the theatre, my mind was going crazy. This movie was something I needed, not just so I could feel grateful for such an easy life, but it was something so, so much more than that. I can't really describe the feeling in my heart even now, a day later of the impact from the story. In my morals & ethics course this semester, we talk about the projects all the time. Our teacher and some of our classmates grew up in those areas and it's almost expected that the rest of the class knows what the life is like based upon things we've heard or seen in movies, books, tv, news, and so on. "The Blind Side" showed just that. The hardships of drugs, violence, prostitution, alcohol, abuse, theft, and homelessness that linger at every corner. I get scared of spiders and thunderstorms. How sad is that? Never in my life have I truly been scared for my life because of my surroundings. But there are people who wake up every single day worrying about these things. They don't know what is going to happen, who's going to survive, who's going to run away, where they will be staying, what possessions they will have. They have to live in the moments of their lives because they're so afraid that those moments could get cut short in seconds.

Can you imagine living in this kind of neighborhood? Can you imagine living with no family? Living in a place where you really can't trust anybody because everyone is solely fighting for themselves? Tell me, can you even imagine living in a community like this?

I've lived in Nappanee my entire life. Sure I've complained about it before. "It's boring." "There's nothing to do here." "But Mom, I don't WANT to embrace the pace!"...and so on.

I've grown up as an only child and can think about the many times where I've been unhappy with my life. "I don't want to do the dishes, or clean my room, or wash the windows, or mow the lawn. Why couldn't my parents get me the things I actually wanted for my birthday or Christmas? Why didn't my grandma send her check like she always does for Easter and Halloween? I want those clothes and those cd's and those toys and those cool things. Why is my life so awful?!" Yes, I'm ashamed to say that these things have crossed my mind more than once in my lifetime. I've grown up as an unfortunately normal, selfish human being. I hate that. I hate the fact that I've taken so much for granted in my life. Even as I type this, I'm looking around at all sorts of things that I don't need and could survive without. But since I've been blessed with such a great family and life, I have them.

I wish that there was something that I could do for the inner-city youth and less fortunate families. I really think this movie has peeled off a new layer of giving in my heart. I want God to use me and take me wherever He sees fit. I want to be obedient to His calling and His plans for my life. I want to live a life that's not thankful just for a single day of the year, but for every single day that I have, every breath that I am given.

Upcoming 2 Weeks

Kristy has left me. What ever will I do? How will I survive without her? I have no clue.

This past Friday, my partner in crime, fellow co-worker, close friend, and only other female in the office left me for Kenya. No worries, it's only 2 weeks. Ha! Only the busiest two weeks in Student Ministries! Well, maybe not quite the busiest, but definitely close! In the next two weeks, along with the help of the pastors and interns hopefully, I'll be responsible for...

-Junior High Hayride (picking up cookies, hot chocolate, donuts, setup/teardown, ultimate go-to person for detail stuff)

-Preteen Outreach (contact bus drivers, get petty cash, mail postcard, cancel driver if necessary)

-Winter Retreat (first deadline is next Sunday! I'll be in charge of setup/teardown of the table, running the table for a few shifts that morning, collecting money, entering names in the database/charts, mailing postcards to parents, putting forms in the binder, and making sure forms in the Ministry Center are always stocked)

-Silent Auction (collecting items and forms, placing in storage until Katia and I take pictures of everything for the website)

-5KIN (collecting forms, collecting money, sending money to front office)

-November Monthly (6 pages of student newsletter info for next month, print 860 copies of it, fold them in the folding machine, fold those in half, stuff the envelopes, put stickers on envelopes, get mailing bins from post office, fill out stupid paper work for bulk mailing of 803, stuff them in the bins, take all 7 bins to the post office, breathe!)

-Normal weekly stuff (Sunday/Wednesday attendance & setup for PT, JH, & SH, Monday meeting, bulletin announcements, random mailings, and lunch. Haha)


Well, that's not too much. Yeah right. Throw in the fact that I have midterms next week and we're there! Woohoo!!


**Disclaimer: do to the intense stressful workload listed above, it is very likely that I will not be posting in the next two weeks. And if I do not post after that, it simply means that I didn't survive. Hahaha. :)

Searching for the Truth

I'm on a mission. I've never been so pumped up and motivated about something related to school since...well...since I've been in school. I'm doing research outside of class. I'm going to seminars, sessions, and speakers that are not required all to help me out in a class. Just one.

This semester, 3 of my classes are very blah. I start the day out with Statistics (with my very monotone professor), then I head to Managerial Accounting (with my very loud and eccentric professor), then after my break I go to Calculus (with my professor that clearly got stuck teaching that class). To end my day, I have a Sociology class that is focused on being great leaders in the outside world. The class is a morals & ethics course. Yes, at IUSB. An oxymoron in my opinion, but that is part of my mission.

This class is by far one of the most fascinating, frustrating, and challenging classes I've ever taken at IUSB. It's fascinating in the fact that out of the 30 or so people in our class, the different backgrounds, upbringings, cultures, lifestyles, etc have the most diverse opinions about things that are good, bad, right, and wrong. It is frustrating in the fact that we are told to accept the fact that other people have their own opinions and beliefs and we can't change those. That doesn't stop people from trying though, so speaking up on very raw topics such as abortion, religion, homosexuality, and race can usually lead into some pretty heated arguments and battles amongst the class. The challenging aspect of the class is well, everything. Seriously. I'm challenged to know everything that I believe in, why I believe in it, what it means to believe in it, and I need to be able to back those things up all the time! It's really difficult sometimes!

Here's my mission: My professor (an African American non-Christian who loves swearing and putting down everybody's beliefs) does not believe that absolute truth exists.

On the other hand, Grow U, the new Sunday evening service is all about identifying and proclaiming the absolute truths of the world and how in today's society we are so ok with just accepting that different people believe in different things, despite if they are said true in the Bible or not. My professor doesn't hold Christianity too high, which stinks for the few Christians in our class. The challenge of speaking up to him is hard, but I want to stand up and not back down for the things that I KNOW are true. It's hard being torn apart by him day after day, and now I have to be graded upon it as well. I refuse to fail because I can't back up my beliefs. So, please, if you have any ideas, thoughts, or anything whatsoever to help me out, just let me know. :)

I Can't Believe It...

Dear Readers,

It happened before my 21st birthday. I thought I could hold off. But the temptation was too high. The pressure was too high. The constant teasing was getting to be too much. I couldn't escape it. What will my mom think? What will my junior highers think? What will my friends think?


I have now conformed to the patterns of this world...

...just as the Bible tells us NOT to do...



I now have a Twitter account. Yep. It's true.


Sincerely,

@mlrendall

Something You Just Don't See Anymore

Today while at work (Starbucks), a customer of mine, a regular and a man whom I've known nearly my entire life, came in to order something. Behind him, another regular and friend that I've known for a few years now, was pondering his drink choice. As I dried my hands and began to take the first customer's order, he looked behind him and told the second customer to go ahead and order and he would pay for it. Hesitant, the second customer was thrown off. After making sure that this guy was serious, he ordered his drink. Then, just as he said, the first customer ordered his drink as well and paid for them both. I was rather thrown off as well to this act of random kindness. I mean, I knew both of these customers, but they had never met before in their entire lives. As I prepared the drinks, I listened to the first customer explain why he was paying for the other's drink. He, too, received the same act of kindness just days before from a complete stranger who wanted to pay for his order at another place. He mentioned how that kind of friendliness is so rare these days. So, instead of just accepting it and moving on, he continued that random kindness to another person. How awesome.

A Woman's Perspective...

About three months ago, the Effect girls had a camping overnighter. Now of course, I cannot discuss what all happened there or what all was said because, well, what happens at those types of things, STAYS there. Sorry.

However, I can fill you in on one really exciting thing that was brought up...

As a child growing up in the church, (and of course this is completely off of observation, since I cannot speak from experience) we are placed in groups of kids our own age with a leader or two that can be there to answer our questions, listen to us, care for us, and teach us about life. Going from one age group to the next, this concept doesn't really change. In middle school, the kids are placed in small groups with a small group leader or two that they can look up to and gain advice for the tough stuff in life. It continues as we head into high school. Again, we are placed in small groups with a leader that can teach us about life and help us grow in our faith and help encourage us through the ups and downs of our days, weeks, months, etc. Once high school ends, that idea of a small group and a leader ends as well. Sure, some people go off to work part/full time and are surrounded by groups of people and have a boss to look up to. Sure, some people go off to college and have their roommates and classmates around them with teachers to look up to. But somehow that is not quite the same. We, as young adult females, find ourselves struggling through this time in our life just as much as we were in junior high and high school, sometimes even to more serious extents! Who do we go to for advice and consultation now? Our closest friends can only help us so much, but in most cases, they too are going through the same issues we are. We cannot load our friends with our burdens when they have just as much to carry. That's not healthy for anybody.

So, what was our solution? Well, after a few meetings with Christy Engbrect, each of us girls (who were interested) got paired up with a mentor from the church. These ladies have quite a few years on us. Most, if not all of them, are involved at Nappanee Missionary Church in some way. And they each have lived our lives before, so they can give us the advice, perspective, guidance, encouragement, and overall friendship that we need. I'm extremely excited because tomorrow I will get to have lunch with my mentor for the first time! It will be rather interesting because she works at the church, so technically I already know who she is. But it will be intriguing to see the comparisons in our lives and the similarities for what brought us together. You see, we (Effect girls) each filled out a pretty simple, yet challenging and personal form that later got gathered and handed to Christy, where the group of ladies prayed over them for weeks until each of us had our match. I'm looking forward to having a strong Christian role model in my life that can challenge and strengthen me. It could be a possible life change...

Something Needs to Change...

Normally, I am not a huge fan of change. In fact, I try to avoid it because it's just easier to stick with a pattern in life. However, change needs to happen if you can't even keep up with the rhythm of life.

My weekly schedule is nuts. Ever since I got back from my vacation, I've been running around like crazy. Every single day has been filled with something, whether it's been school, working at one of my two jobs, helping with junior high or young adult ministries, or doing homework. Whenever telling people this, I often get the response, "How are you surviving?" or "When on earth do you get to have fun?" Well, I'm not quite sure how I'm surviving necessarily. The lack of sleep, quick pace of life, and added stress to life in general is definitely hard to deal with. Hence, bringing me to the main subject of this blog.

My goal is not to make people feel bad about my life being so busy, because I know everybody's lives are crazy. But for me personally, I am going to do something about it because life is slowly draining me to a very dry sponge and I can't keep going on like I am. I'm currently in the process of a very important decision that has both its pros and cons, which I am taking very seriously. I need to make time for myself, my friends, my junior highers, and most importantly my Savior. In order for me to survive the craziness of life, I NEED my encouragement from my closest friends and I NEED personal time to grow closer to God. I want to be a light in the darkness. I want to be patient about my future. I want to invest in others and make a difference in the lives I am closest to. I want to wake up and look forward to each day instead of dreading the things on my to-do lists. I want to feel a peace about my relationship with Him so that I can feel comfort in my hardest days. Only God can provide this for me and I NEED Him. So, I'm taking a stand in my own life and setting my priorities straight for what is best for ME, not anybody else. I've always had a hard time saying 'no' to people. I've always struggled not being able to satisfy the ones around me, especially family. This will be a big step for myself, and it will create tension with the woman who gave me life, but I need to do it. So, this is me, announcing that there will be a change. And I am praying it's the right thing. I hope you guys can pray a little prayer for me as well. I'll keep you up to date, don't worry.

...Leaving on a Jet Plane...

In less than 20 hours, I will be headed to the airport to go to Europe. Yes, Europe. It hasn't quite hit me just yet, so the excitement of it all is still to come. I've been to Europe before, the summer after my freshman year of high school. My mom and I went on a vacation there and met up with an old friend of hers and my dads who was stationed in Germany for the Air Force. Six years later, and he's still there. Ergo, another vacation there.

I'm not exactly sure what our plans are for the upcoming week, as far as where all we're going. I know Germany is the bulk of our week--castles, churches, graveyards, museums, real history from tens to thousands of years ago. It's exciting stuff. We'll also be going to Paris for a couple days. That, too, is exciting. But ya know what I'm most excited about? It's not the buildings that are years old, or the landscapes that are rugged from wars, or even the autobahn where we'll be driving who knows how fast...the thing I'm looking forward to the most is the plane ride! Now, most normal people are probably thinking "What the heck are you talking about!? That's the worst part of the trip!" Well, ya see, I have a different take on it. Because within my one flight from the US to Europe, my 10 hour flight, I will not only get to see the sun SET over the ocean, but I'll get to see it RISE as well. And by golly, God's creation is the most beautiful thing, especially when He paints the skies! SO excited!! ...Oh how I hope I'm in a window seat! *cross fingers*

Baptism Weekend

This past weekend was huge for me. I don't think many people really realize how big of a deal it was, but let me enlighten you all...

Let me rewind back a year ago. I wanted to get baptized last summer. I had just really felt like it was my time to, and I had a great support system that was all for me taking my next step with baptism. Unfortunately, that support system was not my family. The day of baptism last year also happened to fall on the same day as my great-grandmother's 90th birthday party when family from all over the country were going to be in town. I had talked to my mom about it, and she simply responded back with "It's Grandma's day, not yours. You need to be there." So, baptism came and went and I missed it.

So, let's fast forward to the next opportunity for baptism: Easter Sunday. This would've been perfect, had I not been asked to perform "The Redeemer" skit that morning for the Connection Services. Sure, I could've said no and they could have easily found somebody else to play my greedy role, but there was something inside of me that really wanted to have a hands on experience, that, in the end, opened my own eyes even more about the love of Christ. I wouldn't take back that experience for anything. I grew closer to the people I performed with, grew strength and confidence from being on stage in front of hundreds, and ultimately grew closer to God when I was put into a role that has been so common in this world, yet His Son died for those actions and feelings that people go through everyday. It's hard to explain how that performance hit me, but it did.

Now, let's move forward to mid-June, when I was asked if I wanted to get baptized during the ONE celebration at the church. What a great experience that would have been, but there was a part of me that wanted to remain behind the scenes for that day. I'm not sure why, but instead I wanted to help with the parking and photography for that day. Photography has become a way of worship for me, and I wanted to spend that morning doing what I love best-praising Him through my favorite form of worship. As I look back at it now, I could've gotten baptized that day, but I'm also one that can't say no when people need favors and such. It's rather silly, but in the end, I'm still glad that I didn't get baptized that day.

A week after the ONE celebration was when I first mentioned anything about August baptism to a family member: my dad. I've always been rather hesitant to share what God is doing in my life to my family, because, well, I'm the only one that goes to church, which in my eyes meant that I was the only Christian in my family. While that may or may not be true, due to the fact that their definitions of Christian differ from mine, I still wanted to show my love of Christ on that August day. My dad, who lives in Utah, called me the week after the ONE celebration just to see how I was doing and what I had been up to. We have these conversations on the phone about once every 2 or 3 months, but that doesn't necessarily guarantee that I share everything. But I did talk about my summer, which had mostly been filled up with working at the church and helping out with junior high on Sundays and Wednesdays, then I mentioned baptism. He stopped me and my rambling and asked more about it. I was slightly thrown off, because, well this was family asking me about church. That just doesn't happen very often. So, I continued telling him about getting baptized and when it was and why I wanted to, and almost immediately he congratulated me and asked me to e-mail the date so he could make sure he didn't have any work conflicts, and if so, he'd love to come out to see it! I honestly can't remember anything else from that phone call, all I can remember was how excited I was that I was actually going to have FAMILY at my baptism in addition to all of the Effect group! How awesome was that! My dad has only come out to Indiana once in the past 10 years of my life, and that was for graduation, where he stayed for just that day and only met one of my friends. So, the fact that he was coming was awesome! He'd get to see all the people I hang out with and work with and that was exciting in itself!

Then a very tough decision came. An amazing opportunity came to the Effect group to go on a missions trip to Mexico for only $100. This was an opportunity that would probably never come again. However, the opportunity to publicly proclaim my love of Christ in front of my dad was a bigger deal to me, and I passed up the trip. Unfortunately, 20 members of the Effect group didn't, including the one person that had brought me to church for the first time 5 years ago. If it wasn't for her, there is no way I would've been getting baptized in the first place. This was very difficult for me. I started getting angry at the fact that the core group of people that I have gotten to know and spend so much time with in the past two years were not only going to experience an awesome trip without me, but they wouldn't be at my baptism when I came out of the water, and they wouldn't get to meet my dad. I started getting really negative at the fact that my friends were leaving me on one of the most important days of my life. I started thinking that maybe they weren't my friends at all. I started forgetting about the reason I was getting baptized or the reason they were going to Mexico. I started making that day about ME, and not about GOD. Luckily, this harsh realization came a few weeks before baptism and I was able to get excited for the fact that God was going to be spread all over the place! My friends were going to show His love all around Mexico, and I was so happy for that! And I was going to get the opportunity to show His love here at home to my family, which hadn't hit me until it actually happened.

It was two weeks before baptism. I was getting so excited! I had my countdown going and I was so pumped for that weekend! It was around this time, that I found out that not only was my dad coming to visit, he was bringing my two half-brothers as well! And the fact that they were making this time of my life such a big deal, opened the eyes of the rest of my family, and I was able to have almost 10 family members there for me in the end! Out of those 10, only 3 of them attended church. My half brothers attend a Greek Orthodox church in Massachusetts, and my great-grandmother has been attending a church in Bremen for as long as I've been alive. The rest of my family, although they support me in everything I do with the church, still do not understand and grasp the reasons for which I am so involved at NMC. Each of their stories is different in regards to why they don't go to church, and I have to somewhat respect that. But this day was a time for me to be an example and a light to them. This weekend held so much more than I had anticipated.

My dad and brothers had arrived on the Friday before baptism. I got to spend so much time with them which was exciting since I only get to see them about once a year. I got the opportunity to hear my dad's views on Christianity and religions in general. That was an eye opening experience to say the least. I learned a lot from him and it's a kind of conversation that we've never had before. It opened many doors to future conversations he and I will have and that is awesome. On Sunday, I got to attend church with family for the first time in my life! I took my two brothers to their classes that morning and then my dad met up with us at the Connection service. They were so fascinated by it all. They loved the church and the people and the music and just everything! And that put a huge smile on my face! That smile got even bigger as I took one of my brothers to lunch and a song that Chris had played in Connection was playing on the CD player in my car. My brother and I turned up the music and sang out this song together. A new experience, yet again. After lunch, it was only hours and minutes before baptism began.

I started getting nervous for some reason. Although alot of my friends were in Mexico, I had a ton of support there for me! I guess I had forgotten how many people had become significant in my life and vice versa. I not only had the support of my family and my best friend Allison, I also had a line of junior highers, young adults, co-workers, and pastors all waiting to congratulate me! The baptism itself was awesome. I cried like a baby after Derry surprised me with a message by Alyssa. I wasn't expecting that at all and it meant more than words can say. After the service, we had our family celebration cookout at my grandma's house...a wonderful way to end a fantastic weekend. I'm glad I waited until now to get baptized. I learned so much more about God and myself in the past year and this moment was a perfect start to a new life. I can't wait to see what He has in store for me and my family and the relationships with them!

God You Are...

Almost every year at NMC's Summer Camp, students go through a set number of stations where they spent a large amount of time alone with God praising Him in various ways. Whether it be through reading the Word, sculpting clay, drawing pictures, singing, or writing letters to Him, we experience His power and presence in mighty ways. One specific station that was at this year's Summer Camps was called "ABC Praise." Twenty-six posters are represented, one for each letter of the alphabet. At the top of each poster it says "God you are..." and students are asked to write a word to finish the sentence to our Father that begins with the letter shown. Yesterday, as we were putting away the posters from Preteen Camp, we began to actually read them. I picked out just a short list of my favorites. I think you'll find them enjoyable :)

Keep in mind, they are Preteens (5th and 6th graders):

GOD YOU ARE...

• corgeous
• 'da man
• indeskridibel
• inportant
• indestuctable
• jumbofully joyful
• mity
• mesiful
• nutorious
• quitless
• stupedous
• supercalafrajalisticexpealadoshis
• unstopabel
• xstrodenary
• xtreme galaxorous
• xpacular
• yellow
• zazing
• za best
• zawsome
• zuper

And last but certainly not least....Zebra maker :)

WPF

I just returned from an interesting day at my first World Pulse Festival (first one as a Christian, that is). After waking up at 5:30am, I wasn't in the greatest moods to go. But, I pressed on. Our group arrived at the site around 8:15 and from then until about 11 it was an on and off pouring down from the sky. Lovely. Not really. We were cold, wet, cranky, sleepy, and WET. I figured with weather like this, there was no need to put sunscreen on, so I didn't. Anyways, at 11, the Robbie Seay Band came up, followed by Ayeisha Woods. I started getting disgruntled because I only knew about 4 songs by the end of those sets. Then, the wonderfully awesome Hawk Nelson, David Crowder Band, and Jeremy Camp played and I was having a blast!! The rain stopped, the sun came out, the skin was toasted. Haha. Overall, great day at the festival. Now, time for aloe!


On the plus side, I am going to tell people that I meant to get burnt today. Why? Because in one week I'll be peeling this gross skin off. It is going to be a physical sign of shedding the old and starting anew with my baptism next week!! Clever, eh? I'm getting extremely excited!! :)

Presidential Debate

Let me start off by saying that I am in no way writing this with a mindset of being for or against our President coming to town. I just found something rather intriguing, that's all.

Due to the fact that I work at Starbucks, the largest coffee company in the world, it came to no surprise to hear that an order was placed for the big meeting in Wakarusa tomorrow. I mean, I wouldn't expect the President of the U.S. to try something new that is unique to the town (not trying to bash or promote Main Street here). I just wasn't shocked to know that he would get what he knew best.

So, I am here to let you in on the inside scoop :) Why? Well, basically because I can and I find it so fascinating for some reason. At 10 am Wednesday morning, President Obama's "people" will pick up an order of 4 coffee travelers and approximately 30 Starbucks pastries. I've added what I could, and it'll come to about 100 dollars....which, considering today's economic situation and the reason for the President being here in the first place, that's just interesting. Yeah, clearly I'm trying to keep my comments to myself for now.

On the plus side, every order made at Starbucks is another order that ensures me that I'll still have my job there, so I can't complain too much. But yeah, interesting little fact for ya :)

The Elkhart County 4-H Fair

Every year, I have my traditional places and events that I try to visit. Tonight, I was able to accomplish most of the things on my list.

• Wheat Pretzel with Cream Cheese from the Pretzel Wagon-sounds kinda gross, but it's amazingly delicious!! I can't remember when I first had this wonderful taste on my lips oh so long ago, but it totally changed my...days at the fair. :)
• Vanilla Blended Coffee from Teakwood Coffee Bar-I almost feel obligated to visit here every year because it was my very first job, and now I'm working at their competition. I never liked coffee; in fact, I still don't. But this particular drink, which my co-worker and I used to add flavors to, just brings such joy and coolness to my body. I love it. It's basically frozen vanilla milk. Not strong coffee at all.
• Arts & Crafts Building-my favorite place at the fair! I used to have crafts in that building when I was younger. I always got a blue ribbon too! Everytime I visit the fair, I have to stop at this building to see the cakes, photography, scrapbooking, and amazing art peices. I'd still be in 4-H if I could, no doubt!
• Commercial Building-alright, so this one has become increasingly more and more boring as I've gotten older, but I still enjoy going through and picking up a few pieces of candy here and there :)
• And I saved the BEST for last---Dairy Barn Twist Ice Cream :) I don't think I need to explain this one. It's perfection in a little cup. Hits the spot every time. Beats out all ice cream places by a million. I love it!! (plus, it's one of the cheapest things at the fair, which is a HUGE bonus!)

What's your favorite part of the fair?

Summer Camp '09

Just returned from an amazing week at Junior High Camp and I am so excited to see how God continues to move in and through these students! To keep this one short, I'll only share a few of the many things I'm taking home from this experience:

• I've officially decided that sunrises and sunsets are so much prettier when they're above water. (I'll have pictures up later)
• Every junior higher just wants someone who can make them look less dumb-hence, our silly leaders. The kids are looking for friends at this time when they feel so alone, and leaders have great potential to be a huge part of their lives.
• In John 4: 7-21, the word "love" is used twenty-seven times. It's a constant reminder of the true love God has given us and the kind of love we should be giving to others.
• Photography is my favorite type of worship. I never really considered it a kind of worship until I realized that I was using one of my talents, or platforms, for His glory. I had the camera in my hands at all times, and over 900 pics were taken by just myself.
• Junior High worship gives me goosebumps when the band doesn't play or sing. It's amazing and puts a huge smile on my face.
• Some kids are dealing with some super intense things-things I hope I never have to deal with. And it hurts to feel helpless for them.
• No matter how much time and effort and overall stress that is put into camp, the result takes it all away and you realize how much it was all worth it. It's truly wonderful.
• Terry Bley really does have crazy powers. He made me cry just by staring into my eyes. Our relationship will never be the same.
• You can't compare or try to repeat a previous memory with different people. It doesn't work. New memories get created, and that's all we can do.
• There will be friend and boy drama wherever you go with junior highers. I stayed up all night listening to the lastest boy updates. Crazy stuff.
• I'm a huge role model for these kids. There wasn't a place where I went where kids weren't screaming my name or talking to me. I need to continue to live a life that shows my strong walk with God so they can reflect that.
• Emergencies happen. Accidents happen. We were fortunate to have both, of course. But we had an amazing nurse who was there to assist every second.
• Lastly, these kids are an absolute inspiration to me. I watch them worship, pray, laugh, have fun, cry, and be silly and I am amazed every second. They are more than "just junior highers" as Terry and Chris reiterated. They're going to awesome things one day and I can't wait to watch it.

**Pics will be up soon. Like I said, I only took about 900, so it could be awhile.

Stumped.

I had a project for work to accomplish today: take pictures of every middle/senior high school represented at Nappanee Missionary Church. Yeah, that's only about 30 different schools spread out over a million mile radius, no biggie. So, to help make things a little more fun for me and a little less lonely, I called up one of the first junior high girls I connected with since working with that ministry. She's an absolute riot, has an insane passion for Christ, is way to mature for her age and, oh yeah, she is the daughter of a pretty awesome pastor. I don't really remember how we connected so well, I just know that she has been a very important girl in my life for a year now. I'm so happy that I've gotten to invest in her, and although I'm apparently some hero in her eyes, she has challenged me and helped me grow more than I ever expected. I'm so grateful for her :)

Normally, when her and I hang out, we talk about life-friends, family, sports, work, goals, and all that jazz. She often asks for advice based on certain situations in her life, and, referencing what I've experienced or seen, I tell her my thoughts. Today, however, in addition to the basic questions of life, she asked me a question that has officially stumped me. I have to say I'm still rather speechless on how a freshman just comes up with these things.

"How do you keep your fire going for God?"

As I drove, I'm thinking, "PK verses semi-new Christian...her guess is as good as mine!" She continues on about how she often gets on spiritual highs from camps and trips and they normally last about a month or two. But this year, with camp being a week away, she's really wanting to take it home for good! She wants to WANT to make time to spend with God and worship Him. She wants that spiritual fire to burn for the whole school year, not just from some trip that she takes. She wants this to be a change from every single year that's come and gone. She desires to WANT Jesus all the time, and to not have to be forced to have time set out for Him such as at camp. She needs the discipline to keep herself on fire for God, but doesn't know how to get it or where to find it. So, she turns to me for answers.

Everything in the above paragraph....are my exact thoughts after camps and trips. How do I answer her when I, myself still question the exact same thing?!

Completely.....STUMPED.

NMC Summer Camp

In about a week, I'll be headed to my fourth Summer Camp for Nappanee Missionary Church and I couldn't be more excited! Every year brings with it different messages, activities, people, experiences, and memories.

My first Summer Camp took place the summer before my sophomore year. I don't remember too much unfortunately, because at that time, I was still trying to get a hold of the whole "Christian" thing. I can recall the cabin I stayed in and the people I roomed with. I remember not knowing alot of the worship songs, mostly because I never listened to that kind of music before. We always met in the pavilion down the huge hill and one of the days we went to Cedar Point, like the Senior High always does. It was fun, but since I was so shy back then and didn't know alot of people, I didn't feel too comfortable most times.

JUMP! My second Summer Camp took place my senior year. Although I had been going to church on Wednesdays for almost three years, I was still missing something about being a Christian. This camp helped me figure out and it was here that I had fully committed to pursuing an authentic relationship with Christ. I also committed to attending church on Sunday mornings as well and have gone ever since! I made and strengthened a ton of friendships and still remain in contact with many of those people today. I was challenged and tested in faith, leadership, agility, and communication during our team initiatives, but throughout those, gained new perspectives on everyday trials in life. Many firsts happened at this camp. Aside from my first day as a true follower of God, I was also asked by Derry, although he probably doesn't remember it, to pray in front of a large group (over 200 people I'm sure) right before eating. I'd never prayed in front of anyone except my small group of five people and now I was being put on the spot to pray aloud, through a blow horn, in front of a group of people I hardly knew. I was scared to death. Fear filled my entire body. But...the whole theme of camp got to me. Jesus said, "Come, follow me" and JUMP. It was that same feeling that went through me as I was standing in line at Cedar Point to ride the Millenium Force, another first for me. It was pouring down rain and everyone was singing and clapping and getting excited, and then there was me-almost near tears because I was so scared to ride the roller coaster. But once we got at the front of the line, a friend used that same line, "Come, follow me." And, within seconds, I was experiencing another first. So many new things happened at that camp and I can still recall every single one. I absolutely loved it!

SEEK. Last Summer, I went to my first Junior High camp, as a leader. It was incredible. I was blown away by the kids and their passion and love for Jesus. Through them, I grew even more in my own relationship with Christ. I was put in a position where I had to be authority, yet be a friend to the students and I became so attached to some of them. During the worship times, they all were completely crazy for God and in turn, I was on-fire for Him as well! I found myself being just as sweaty and out of breath as they were after we all jumped up and down to the awesome music by Jason and the band. We had great times worshipping through music, through TAWG, and through our cabin times. My cabin group was amazing, not to mention I was co-leading with my best friend which is always a plus. Together we united two completely different cliques from the same school. It was neat to see them grow closer to each other, but ultimately to God throughout that week. I still talk to every one of those girls, and pray for them as much as I can. They influenced my life and walk with God, and I hope I've done the same for them. They were the first group to really stir up my passion for the junior high ministry. And although they are moved up to senior high now, the memories of late nights, long prayers, sugar overloads, and lots of laughter will forever be with me.

BRACE YOURSELF! In a week, I'll be headed off to join the junior highers again for Summer Camp. I'm already torn with who's going to be in my cabin due to the fact that my 7th graders that I had this past year and the current 7th graders that I have in my Sunday morning class are all going to camp. I've gotten so close to them already, but I'm really just trying to pray that the right groups will be formed. I don't want to set myself up for disappointment. I'm told that I won't be with my group as much as I hope to this year though. Since I'm working at the church now, my role will be one with a ton of responsibilities. I'm slowly starting to feel the pressure, especially since we're getting down to the last week where my work days will be spent in full preparation for camp. It's going to be a crazy, stressful week, but the result is going to be great! I'm ready to BRACE MYSELF for the new students and leaders that I meet. I'm ready to BRACE MYSELF to see what God has in store for me. I'm ready to BRACE MYSELF for a path of unknowns in my life and the kids. I absolutely can't wait!!!

My Dad is Superman :)

This past Sunday was Father's Day-an entire day to celebrate and brag about how amazing our dad's are and have been in our lives and how much they do for us. Father's Day for me has always been different compared to alot of my friends. In the past 20 years of my life, I have never spent Father's Day with my dad. I've never seen him on this day and that saddens me sometimes. For those of you who don't know, my dad lives in Utah. I'm lucky to see him twice a year because of costs and our schedules and so on. So when Father's Day comes around every year and we're automatically supposed to think of the great things our dads do for us every day, I can't come up with a huge list, but despite the fact that we've had a long distance relationship my entire life, I still could not ask for a more amazing father. He's done so much for me. Encouraged me. Supported me. Inspired me. Strengthened me. And above all, he's loved me more than I could ever ask for. No matter how long it's been since we've talked or seen each other, he loves me just the same and would do anything for me.

Since I can't spend this day with my biological dad, I usually spend it thanking the father figures around me for the things they have done in my life. Due to the fact that my dad hasn't been around, I have other male figures in my life that can encourage, teach, support, listen, and love me daily. I gain so much from these guys. Most of these fatherly figures I would not even know if I didn't attend NMC. From the Senior High Ministry to Young Adult Ministry to helping with Junior High Ministry, I have found godly men that have been such great role models to me. They've inspired me, challenged me, helped me grow in my relationship with Christ, and have shown me things about myself that I thought I'd never see. I love these guys. I thank God every day for them and am so grateful to be working with alot of them at the church now. They each have their families, of course. But in my family that I've found at church, they are definitely the ones I look up to the most. So Happy Father's Day to you guys too. You should know who you are :)

Thanks, Dads, for everything. You guys are amazing.

My 20th Easter

As you all know, tomorrow is Easter. The day that Christ rose again to save us from our sins, etc. We all know the story. We've heard it many times. But for me, this year is different for some reason. From infancy to about my preteen years, Easter in my family has consisted of pictures with the Easter bunny, egg hunts and decorations, chocolate bunnies, candy baskets, some $25 check from Grandma, and all sorts of other things that go into the worldly views of the holiday. While I still get the chocolate bunnies or still decorate eggs, this time of year has a different meaning for me now than it does my family. We haven't had an Easter dinner for as long as I can remember, yet for some reason, this year is different. Needless to say, I was shocked hearing that we were getting together as a family to eat and celebrate Easter. I have no idea what to expect, aside from the great home-cooked meal, but it'll be interesting to say the least.

For the past few years, I had gone to the traditional service and Easter dinner with my (ex) boyfriend and his family. The day wasn't spent really thinking about what God had done for me, it was all about myself and who I got to spend my day with or what plans were being made at the time. I probably listened to Pastor Dave, thought it was a great message, then left the church unaffected because my heart was not in the right place at that time of my life. Ironically, the relationship with the guy ended exactly one year ago on Easter Sunday. Thankfully, this year, I have had a year to re-examine my heart and where it lies. In the period of the year, I've made so many mistakes, lied to many people, done things I would do anything to take back, and have luckily learned from it all. I'd be the typical 20-year old with life struggles, strengths, weaknesses, opportunities taken and lost. Throughout these past few weeks, while in actual remembrance of what Jesus has done for me, I have gained the greatest sense of freedom and joy that He meant for me to have! It breaks my heart when I think about what He went through for me, but that is the greatest part of all. I know that my mistakes are forgiven and that His blood has washed away every sin I've fell into. His love is unlike any other and I am ecstatic to have that love given to me.

As you all know, tomorrow is Easter. The day we should be praising Jesus for the grace He has given us. The day that the cross has a different meaning. The day that we can truly remember who has experienced real pain. Yes, chocolate bunnies and little eggs will still be everywhere we look. And yes, some people's heart won't be at the place that God wants them to be. But before entering the service at church, should you do so, remember why you're there in the first place. The connection service is going to be amazing tomorrow. I know this because I am a part of it. My hope is that the music, the painter, the lights, the drama, the baptisms, the plants, etc are not just some pretty show that so many people have worked hard to put together. But that these things, each with their own special effects, can help every person remember what Easter really is.


Happy Easter Everybody!

On-fire Rallies-The End

Fanning the flame is officially over, and as sad as I am for it to be done, I am also extremely excited to see what happens with the junior high ministry in the rest of the semester. Over a period of four days, I've seen preteens and junior highers give their lives to Christ, worship with everything they have, make themselves completely vulnerable, and ultimately, be real in front of their peers. It's an amazing thing to watch those kids focus totally on God for a lengthy period of time. To be in awe of the speaker, of the message, and of their Lord Most High. It's so awesome! Some people say that kids that age cannot experience a true relationship and interaction with God. Well, I would love to challenge them to come join our youth group sometime, especially during a "super week" such as the On-Fire Rallies or Summer Camp. The "God moments" that are experienced during those times ARE real! It's just a matter of whether or not they continue to live completely devoted to their Savior.

Tonight was our final night of On-Fire Rallies, as I said. It was in this particular night where Tony, our guest speaker, truly challenged everyone in the room, including myself. He asked us four key questions to figure out what, if anything, was keeping us apart from God, no matter the distance:

1. Do you have any habits that aren't leading you to God?
-Examples: gossip, dishonesty, pornography, swearing, disrespect, etc.
Response: CONFESSION
2. Do you have any hatred or anger in you heart?
-Examples: holding grudges, being used/mistreated, etc.
Response: FORGIVENESS
3. Are you jealous of anyone?
-Examples: jealous of someone's looks, significant other, clothes, life, etc.
Response: CELEBRATION
4. Are you greedy or materialistic?
-Example: basically wanting/needing everything of tangible values
Response: SERVE & GIVE

After presenting these questions, Tony actually challenged both students and leaders to stand on his direction if one or more of these stood out. He started with the first scenario, and with eyes closed and hearts opened to God, students and leaders of all ages stood around the room. Prayer was given to these individuals and then the next question and so on. It was definitely a challenge in my life and in the lives of everyone around me. God was moving, that's for sure! As the night came to a close, Jason Lee and the band rocked out and by the end of the night, there was an unpleasant aroma of junior high B.O. But on the plus side, the On-Fire Rallies were a success. We had a GREAT speaker who gave GREAT messages. We had a GREAT band who led us in some GREAT worship. And we had a GREAT opportunity given to us where children encountered the GREAT God of the Heavens!

God in the Cooking Pot

A reference was made tonight at the On-fire rallies that just kinda stuck with me as I left. Tony was comparing our lives to that of a cooking pot. We put in our own ingredients to the pot. Have a base of school. Add a little sports. Maybe some clubs. Put in some church. Some friends. A cup of friends. And then sprinkle some God in with it. After the ingredients are put in, we expect the impure toxins to evaporate as we turn the heat up, just as any other toxins would do at the boiling point. But what we don't realize is that God is not an ingredient of our life, He IS our life. We can't treat our Father as just another ingredient of our everyday lives. He's so much more than that!

Sweet Sound

Tonight I figured out a new favorite sound. And it's probably one of the only times when I'll say something like this in comparison to the loud, annoying, hormonal junior highers (whom I love to death). But I discovered the sweetest noise that just made me want to cry.

As Jason Lee and the band sang worship, which was amazing, they let the junior highers take it themselves. Normally, you'd hear only a couple little squeaky teens, but this was the most harmonious sound lifted to God. As the children sang, "You are the everlasting God. The everlasting God. You do not faint. You won't grow weary..." I was just awed by the power of the words and the passion in their voices. I don't know if it's the sound of children singing that is just inspiring, or if it was the act of worshipping someone so much bigger than them, or just the fact that they were so connected with Christ during that moment. I don't know. It was truly the sweetest sound I've heard in a long time.

Prayer Night Kick-off

Two weeks ago, the amazing Todd and Sheila Eby brought to our leadership team an idea for the Effect. Their vision of creating a night for the sole purpose of prayer was truly outstanding. The guys (Dustin Gill, Jason Mishler, Corey Ryman) and myself were all for it. This was a great way to go about creating a unified group of believers in addition to gaining some accountability in the smaller, gender-specific prayer groups. Since it was the Eby's idea, they took full reign on making it possible and we chose this past Friday night as a kick-off to get things started and introduced. Our leadership team did have a meeting to come up with some ideas to add to the nights, and those ideas were and will continue to be utilized and expanded.

So, with candles all set up and prayer verses around the room and journals to write in, we began our first prayer night. The attendance was small, a little over ten, but that was pretty good for a Friday night. We started the night off in a large group, popcorn praying over three different areas related to the Effect:

1) Keller Park Missionary Church and Sonnyvilla. We have been so blessed to become a partner with these groups building hope for the youth and the community there. Every first Saturday of the month, we load up the bus and help out with tearing down, rebuilding, and finishing homes that can be used as safe Christ-centered environments for the kids who may not have that anywhere else. It's been amazing to see the relationships we've built, the children's growth, the progress with the community and just a true desire for hope and change within the area.

2) Monica Mast and Michelle Feldman. These amazing girls, members of the Effect family, felt a calling to go to Mexico with Dayspring Missions Trips for seven months to serve our awesome God and share His love and truth to the people down there. They had to leave their families, jobs, and lives behind and completely rely on God with the entirety of their lives. They return in August, and we are so awed by what God is doing through them already. It's simply wonderful.

3) Lastly, was the Effect itself. The journey for our young adult ministry has been a tough one at best. It started out with low numbers, but is now growing nearly every weekend. Our leadership team, primarily the guys, have a strong vision of what they'd like to see with the Effect, and we're definitely on our way there. Authentic relationships with each other and with Christ has been our main focus this year, and after the Winter Retreat took place, we've already been able to see the amount of growth in the people there. It's also spurred an interest into others throughout the church and their curiosity has led them to start coming on Sunday nights. It's a great ministry and God is truly doing a work in it right now.


After about an hour of constant prayer for these three areas, we broke off into gender specific prayer groups. The idea behind this time was to develop closer relationships within the girls and guys groups and to develop accountability with those people. The prayer was to be focused solely on ourselves, how things in our lives were going, and how it affected us personally. It was a time to be selfish, but it was also a time to let our guards down and to trust those around us. At 10:20pm, the five girls, including Sheila Eby, finally finished their times of prayer. It was amazing. Over 3 straight hours spent in constant prayer to our awesome God. We brought praises, worries, requests, concerns, trust, and so much more to Him that night. I left feeling so great, not just because I felt like I was a "good-Christian" for a night, but because the power of prayer was so intense and so inspiring. I just can't explain it, really. I'm looking forward to these prayer nights and I think it's one of the best things the Effect has ever done.

Boredom Took Over...

So, for the past month or two, the "25 Random Things" post has been all over Facebook, and as much as I'd love to conform, I'm trying not to. But I found, as I was reading some friends' lists, that most of them had struggles in thinking of 25 things about themselves. Granted they were probably trying to think of all of them in a short amount of time, I managed to make my own list in my times of extreme boredom....AKA...school :)

• My favorite show growing up was Wheel of Fortune-I got hooked when I was still in diapers! Haha
• I have never fully dyed my hair
• I used to run the mile in track my fresman year, but I only beat one girl all season...and she was handicapped.-That's when I decided to become a shotput and discus thrower!
• I have a birthmark on my finger that I can make disappear
• I work at Starbucks, but I hate coffee
• I've lived in 3 different houses-all in Nappanee
• I hate storms
• My first real haircut was in the 1st grade. My mom cried and she still has the 8 or so inches from it.
• I saw the Nutcracker Ballet at the age of 10 in Salt Lake City
• I've been to 7 different countries-US, Mexico, Germany, France, Belguim, Netherlands, and Luxembourg-That number may be increasing this summer :)
• I love listening to classical and piano music
• My mom gave me 20 one-dollar lottery tickets as a part of my graduation present-I ended up winning $519 from them
• I've witnessed a sunrise and sunset all within an 8 hour plane ride-To this day, I've never seen anything more beautiful
• I used to have a pet crab named Sandy-She died because I never gave her water
• My favorite movie of all time is Lion King
• I once spent 4th of July at my dad's house in Utah-Due to the mountainous landscape, I was able to see nearly 20 different cities' fireworks shows at once on the clear night
• One of my goals is to visit all 50 states-I'm about halfway
• The only Disney Park I have been to is located in Paris, France
• Misspelled words are a huge pet peeve of mine.
• My dream job would be to travel the world taking photographs for National Geographic
• I used to receive postcards from all my dad's travels while he was in the Air Force-I probably have about 100 from all over the world
• I collect pens from hotels that I have been to or stayed at
• I love camping
• I regret not going to see the Mona Lisa when I visited the Louvre-I'll be going back to do that this summer thank goodness
• I designed NorthWood High School's school flag my senior year-I received a free iPod for it-It will be flying high for the next 30 or 40 years :)

Lessons Learned

I was recently encouraged to get back into blogging, seeing as how it has been almost two months since I have done so. With my many excuses in life, from work to school to church and the craziness in between, I have distanced myself from the blogging world to share about it all!

One topic that someone suggested I write about was an update on things with my junior high small group. It's been a little over a year now since I have been involved with the junior high ministry and I have loved every second of it! This school year, I was given a new challenge of having my own small group. Not only have they learned lessons from me, but I have learned from them as well. The new year brought upon a new small group. I don't know what changed throughout Christmas break, but I had a different group of girls return in 2009. Three of my five girls attended the Winter Retreat and we were able to talk and bond more than ever. This closeness, to my surprise, lasted after the Retreat as well! And as those girls opened up, so did the two who couldn't attend.

I have learned about family problems, struggles with eating disorders, TAWG (or lack there of), depression, and of course, boys. Some of these things have been very relateable to me, especially relating to myself when I was a junior higher (I hope I wasn't nearly as annoying about talking about boys though. Haha). On the other hand, though, many of their situations I still have not experienced, nor do I ever hope to, so it's alot more difficult to be an encourager when I can't put myself in their shoes. As of right now, I have one girl whose great grandfather just had a heart attack, one whose aunt has less than two weeks to live according to the doctors due to cancer, and one who is pretty much a loner and has a stuffed bear as a best friend. It's been difficult for me to reach out to these specific girls, but our group has grown just with them sharing and all of us praying, supporting, and crying with each other (yes, tears, and lots of them).

Throughout these times, God has been able to use me as guide towards Him. But in order to lead my girls in His direction, I have had to strengthen myself and keep myself accountable to set an example. My thoughts and actions have changed because I have realized how much those girls look up to me. I am a role model now and my actions, no matter where I go, have been based on that. I still have mistakes and flaws, but I try to better myself for them now, rather than for impressing other people for my benefit. My heart and soul is being poured out to these girls, and because of that, I want my heart to be in the correct place as much as possible.

The New Year...

I blame the junior highers. It is their fault!

So, after a wonderful, yet exhausting Winter Retreat with the junior highers, I was looking forward to my nap before the New Year and the party with the young adults. We arrived around 5:30 at the church and I ended up leaving the church around 6:30 from helping with cleaning and luggage. My nap began at 7:30 and was only supposed to last an hour or so... There were 6 missed text messages when I woke up asking where I was and if I needed a ride. Obviously I missed them because I woke up at 12:02. Yeah, I missed the celebration. The ball dropping. Everything. I was extremely bummed.

Thanks to the junior highers, I spent my New Years alone. On the plus side, I went back to sleep a couple hours later and managed to get a total of over 11 hours of sleep. I think I'm caught up now.