One of the many things I love to do around Christmas time is drive around aimlessly to look at the decorations. It's one of the few times of year that I don't mind wasting gas. I love looking at the lights, some perfectly arranged around their houses, others a complete mess. I love criticizing the types of lights the people use, little bulbs versus big ones...blue icycles versus white...and so on.
Well tonight as I was driving on my way home from work, I noticed a blow-up Santa that was partially deflated and fallen to the ground. And I thought to myself...yeah! That's how it should be, right?! Then, less than 2 minutes away, was a lit up reindeer that had fallen into a bush. And I thought to myself...yeah! That's how it should be, right?!
After watching the Nappanee Christmas Parade on tv the other day, I came to the conclusion that our town isn't as focused on the real meaning of Christmas as everyone thinks we are. For as long as I've been alive, it seems, Nappanee has had this huge reputation of being a very religious town, which in most cases is very true. But looking around, everything is rapidly changing. Our first year parade was not filled with Marys and Josephs and Baby Jesus' or even angels...Santa was taking over the parade. Santa and his Mrs. Clause, and their little elves, and their sleigh, and even a real reindeer! This isn't the real meaning of Christmas. Unfortunately I fear that many of those little children will never even know the true meaning behind this holiday. It's so sad :(
12.10.2007
12.02.2007
Silence
Does He say 'yes'?
Does He say 'no'?
Does He say 'maybe later'?
Does He say 'I can't'?
--None of the above.
There is silence.
I'm still waiting.
11.26.2007
Big Blue
On Friday November 23rd, I sent Big Blue back into the world of car salesmen, trickery, money, and repairs. Yes, it was Black Friday of 2007 that I got my new car. And as weird as it may be, I have found that I am much like Big Blue, my trusty pickup with numerous problems.
The color: Blue...also seen as a feeling of sadness which has consumed me as of late.
The condition: Slightly rusted, fair, not always working properly, some mistreating...perhaps looked at as not being up to par all the time, having several faults, not being treated as the gift, or luxury, that it is.
The uniqueness: Not completely rare, yet not overly common either...still a one of a kind in its own way.
The space: Can hold up to five people in a tight squeeze, but has only ever had up to two passengers...has the availability for many people, but no people are available.
The price: Overall, has a descent trade-in value, but individual price can only get higher with repairs...seems to be easily traded in for something better and can be something to easily get rid of for its many problems; hopefully someday it will be worth every penny.
Fair well Big Blue. I wish you all sorts of luck in your future, and don't ever forget--somewhere, somebody misses you...
The color: Blue...also seen as a feeling of sadness which has consumed me as of late.
The condition: Slightly rusted, fair, not always working properly, some mistreating...perhaps looked at as not being up to par all the time, having several faults, not being treated as the gift, or luxury, that it is.
The uniqueness: Not completely rare, yet not overly common either...still a one of a kind in its own way.
The space: Can hold up to five people in a tight squeeze, but has only ever had up to two passengers...has the availability for many people, but no people are available.
The price: Overall, has a descent trade-in value, but individual price can only get higher with repairs...seems to be easily traded in for something better and can be something to easily get rid of for its many problems; hopefully someday it will be worth every penny.
Fair well Big Blue. I wish you all sorts of luck in your future, and don't ever forget--somewhere, somebody misses you...
11.09.2007
The New Age Has Come...Where Have I Been?
So, I discovered something today while at work...
Scenario:
Two customers come up to the counter, a woman probably high twenties/low thirties, and also a young girl about eight or nine who, I believe was her daughter.
Like I'm supposed to, I say: "Hi, welcome to Starbucks! What can we get for you today?"
After a few seconds, I take into consideration the quizzical look upon the girl's face and I offer to help her out. I ask: "Would you like a cold or hot drink this evening?"
She replies with a very unexpected answer: "I think I want a gingerbread latte, but with not that much espresso in it, but to the point where it still tastes good."
I am shocked. Eight years old? Asking for a specific drink and naming its specific ingredients? Not to mention the fact that its ESPRESSO!? Now don't get me wrong, but when I was eight years old, I knew coffee drinks as: "Those drinks with the yucky taste." Not until I began working at a coffeeshop when I turned fifteen did I even know what was in a latte, let alone the fact that it was espresso that gave it its 'punch'.
Anyways, I continued on and asked the mother what she would like.
To my surprise, again, I was given the response: "Yeah, I'd like a small hot chocolate please, with extra whipped cream."
.....Role switching? I think not. Our world is passing by me so quickly. Where have I been?!
Scenario:
Two customers come up to the counter, a woman probably high twenties/low thirties, and also a young girl about eight or nine who, I believe was her daughter.
Like I'm supposed to, I say: "Hi, welcome to Starbucks! What can we get for you today?"
After a few seconds, I take into consideration the quizzical look upon the girl's face and I offer to help her out. I ask: "Would you like a cold or hot drink this evening?"
She replies with a very unexpected answer: "I think I want a gingerbread latte, but with not that much espresso in it, but to the point where it still tastes good."
I am shocked. Eight years old? Asking for a specific drink and naming its specific ingredients? Not to mention the fact that its ESPRESSO!? Now don't get me wrong, but when I was eight years old, I knew coffee drinks as: "Those drinks with the yucky taste." Not until I began working at a coffeeshop when I turned fifteen did I even know what was in a latte, let alone the fact that it was espresso that gave it its 'punch'.
Anyways, I continued on and asked the mother what she would like.
To my surprise, again, I was given the response: "Yeah, I'd like a small hot chocolate please, with extra whipped cream."
.....Role switching? I think not. Our world is passing by me so quickly. Where have I been?!
11.05.2007
Change vs Regret
If a person wished to change something in their past, does that necessarily mean that there is regret in that person's life?
Now, I'm not usually one to regret the past; in fact, I would never say the word "regret" as it referred to my life. I've always liked to look at it as the common "Learn from your mistakes" approach. But what about things that we wish could be different, but that weren't up to us? I've had many instances in which I wish I could change things, but I had no power or authority to do so. And lately, I've just been wondering "What if?" What if I had done this, then would that be different? What if I hadn't gone there, then would that have still happened? What if I was just patient, then would there still be a friendship? What if I had started this earlier, would I be farther in life?
Most of these questions have specifics behind them, but in each circumstance, does questioning certain aspects of your life always mean that you regret something? If I could change things to make them better, does that necessarily mean that they are bad now?
If I had the power to change anything in my life, it would most likely be 'relationships' in a condensed bubble. I look at my life and think about how certain relationships with friends, family, and even God could be altered by one or two moves.
In friendships, as complicated as some are, there are unexplainable occurances that unfortunately can't be changed. But in others, I have to be honest and take the blame. Friendships...true, honest, amazing, worth-while friendships are nearly impossible to find. And even though I've been able to make some awesome friends, there are still some friendships that I've always wondered about...wondering if they'd last longer if this or that happened, or if they were stronger had I done this, etc.
My relationships with family are...well, not as strong as I've wanted. I grew up with just my mom, so we are able to maintain a pretty descent relationship, but that one got kind of rocky in the teen years of course. With her being a single mom, there were relationships with potential family members, aka the men she'd date every once in awhile and his family. And I have seen them come and go. Things like that where I have no decisions in the matter, but I wish they had stayed or something. The remainder of my family and the relationships with those people have been rather nonexistent. I'd change that, or at least attempt to change that, if I could go back in time. I guess it's not too late to get in touch with family members, but there's just so much time to make up that half of the time, it seems pointless.
My relationship with God is something that I often ponder over. I've only recently (within the past 4-5 years) gotten to know Him. I never grew up in a Christian home, yet I wasn't influenced in a negative way in my life leading up to my freshman year of high school. I've always wondered what my life would be like if I had began my walk with Him earlier. I mean, here I am, a freshman in college, and there are so many things in the Bible that a little kid could recite to me that I would have no clue about. I have so much learning to do, but it seems as though it is nearly impossible to make up 15 whole years... There are so many questions, but so many answers that it overflows my mind!
As much as everyone would love to say that they have no regrets in there life, I have realized that it cannot be the case. Whether big or small, I think everyone has slight regret in some form or another, including myself. And when we say that we are going to "learn from our mistakes", I think in some cases, we mean that we are going to "learn from our regrets, in hopes not to have anymore."
PS...I ramble alot...so if none of this makes sense to you, it'll take many more words to sort it out :)
Now, I'm not usually one to regret the past; in fact, I would never say the word "regret" as it referred to my life. I've always liked to look at it as the common "Learn from your mistakes" approach. But what about things that we wish could be different, but that weren't up to us? I've had many instances in which I wish I could change things, but I had no power or authority to do so. And lately, I've just been wondering "What if?" What if I had done this, then would that be different? What if I hadn't gone there, then would that have still happened? What if I was just patient, then would there still be a friendship? What if I had started this earlier, would I be farther in life?
Most of these questions have specifics behind them, but in each circumstance, does questioning certain aspects of your life always mean that you regret something? If I could change things to make them better, does that necessarily mean that they are bad now?
If I had the power to change anything in my life, it would most likely be 'relationships' in a condensed bubble. I look at my life and think about how certain relationships with friends, family, and even God could be altered by one or two moves.
In friendships, as complicated as some are, there are unexplainable occurances that unfortunately can't be changed. But in others, I have to be honest and take the blame. Friendships...true, honest, amazing, worth-while friendships are nearly impossible to find. And even though I've been able to make some awesome friends, there are still some friendships that I've always wondered about...wondering if they'd last longer if this or that happened, or if they were stronger had I done this, etc.
My relationships with family are...well, not as strong as I've wanted. I grew up with just my mom, so we are able to maintain a pretty descent relationship, but that one got kind of rocky in the teen years of course. With her being a single mom, there were relationships with potential family members, aka the men she'd date every once in awhile and his family. And I have seen them come and go. Things like that where I have no decisions in the matter, but I wish they had stayed or something. The remainder of my family and the relationships with those people have been rather nonexistent. I'd change that, or at least attempt to change that, if I could go back in time. I guess it's not too late to get in touch with family members, but there's just so much time to make up that half of the time, it seems pointless.
My relationship with God is something that I often ponder over. I've only recently (within the past 4-5 years) gotten to know Him. I never grew up in a Christian home, yet I wasn't influenced in a negative way in my life leading up to my freshman year of high school. I've always wondered what my life would be like if I had began my walk with Him earlier. I mean, here I am, a freshman in college, and there are so many things in the Bible that a little kid could recite to me that I would have no clue about. I have so much learning to do, but it seems as though it is nearly impossible to make up 15 whole years... There are so many questions, but so many answers that it overflows my mind!
As much as everyone would love to say that they have no regrets in there life, I have realized that it cannot be the case. Whether big or small, I think everyone has slight regret in some form or another, including myself. And when we say that we are going to "learn from our mistakes", I think in some cases, we mean that we are going to "learn from our regrets, in hopes not to have anymore."
PS...I ramble alot...so if none of this makes sense to you, it'll take many more words to sort it out :)
10.24.2007
Uh Oh Spaghettios
Lunch time! And can you guess what I pulled out of the cupboard to eat?! Yep! Spaghettios! Everytime I eat them, I think of my childhood memories, although that wasn't too far back. Anyways, today I looked at them and wondered how on earth they were made. Have you ever done that? It's weird what one can imagine. But then, I decided I would make some lists of things that start or contain the letter "O". So, I thought I'd share...
Things I enjoy:
Things I enjoy:
- cOOkies
- hanging Ornaments on the Christmas tree
- big bOxes in the mail
- the Ocean
- rOad trips
- mOOse tracks ice cream
- the mOnth of OctOber
- phOtOgraphy
- frappucinOs
- PablO PicassO
- the wOrd OnOmatOpOeia
- gOOd fOOd
- buttery pOpcOrn
- full mOOns
- fOrmal wear
- Oldies music
- hOlidays
- shOOting stars
- mOvies
- bOard games
- humOrous peOple
- hOOdies
Things I do not enjoy:
- bOdy OdOr
- Opera music
- bOring videOs
- pOlitics
- being cOld
- stOrms
- Olives
- chOres
- shOts
- Oysters
- shOpping
- shOveling snOw
- hOt weather
- lOng days
Things I want to do someday:
- Order rOOm service
- dOnate my Organs (when I die, of course)
- see an Orchestra
- ride in a limOsine
- tOur eurOpe
- knOw my saviOr
- scuba dive in the Ocean
- drive sOmewhere with nO directiOns
- gO to flOrida
- make a fOOl of myself while singing karaOke
- have a lOrd Of the rings mOvie day
- sit on a rOOf
10.22.2007
After a Few Days...
Only a mere four days have passed since my hometown was hit with a dreaded tornado. Since then, many thoughts have run through my head. I sit and think about the night of the storm. I had just gotten out of school and went shopping in Mishawaka. My mom texted me a few times telling me to drive careful due to some thunderstorms in the area. Well, I hurried with my shopping, which, for a girl, I guess is supposed to be pretty impressive. Whatever. I rushed home, because A: I'm not a huge fan of storms...and B: It was almost time for The Office. So, after arriving home, and realizing I wasn't going to see my show, I decided to head to bed early. I was scheduled for my first day of training at Starbucks the following morning at 5:30.
After lying in bed for about a half hour, my mom yelled upstairs to me to run to the basement. We have to go outdoors to get to our basement, so I ran in mud puddles and rain to get the nasty shelter. We sat down there listening to what we could on the scanner. First the tornado touching on the corner of SR 19 and CR 1350. Then it was hitting CR 7 and US 6. And finally it was gone, after wiping out CR 9 and 54. Within about five minutes, Nappanee was changed. It seemed like hours had passed and then our power went out. Time: 11 pm...Sirens everywhere...officially can't sleep...work in less than six hours.
I went to sleep and woke up a few hours later to get ready for a memorable first day of work. After taking luke warm shower with no water pressure in the light of five candles, I made myself somewhat presentable for work. I drove in the pitch black darkness that slowly got lit up by the emergency vehicles. I arrived at Martin's and walked in, only to discover that today would most definitely not be my first day of work. I was sent home since they had no idea if/when they were going to open. It was as I was walking back outside, that I decided to see how bad the damage really was. Even though it was still dark outside, I walked up to the corner of CR 7 and US 6. I felt completely helpless then, and even more so as I went up later with my grandparents. All I could do was pray and hope that everyone was alright, especially those that I knew had been hit.
The day passed on. Our power eventually turned on around noon. My friend wanted to come to my house to hang out. Normally laughing and having a great time with her, I felt empty inside. She kept saying how she wanted to go get something to eat and to go look at the damage. Even though every food business was closed, looking at more damage was the last thing I wanted to do. I got the same feeling I had on September 11th many years ago, except this time, it was my own hometown. It was a mile away from my house. People that I knew were without everything. I felt guilty that I had been so lucky as to have not gotten hit. It was devastating.
The weekend went by and I found myself finally letting out all my thoughts to my boyfriend in our church parking lot. I was using fun events over the weekend to hide everything that was inside me. At times I focused to much on my life and none on the reality of others'. I thought about how Nappanee was beginning to get a negative look upon it, and hopefully this event could bring us all together like the community that we supposedly are. I thought about places I had been in the past year, such places that have been ripped away and no longer exist. I thought about time. And how quickly it passes, yet certain moments can last forever. I thought about how fortunate Nappanee really is. Even though we got so much damage, enough to catch the national news' eye, we had not one fatality. Yeah, buildings are gone. Houses demolished. Our favorite fast food places in pieces. But in some ways, this tornado was a good thing for us. It made us all realize that God was watching and protecting everyone. That He has a reason for everyone to be here today. And that He wanted to bring the communities together to work for a common goal, so we can become proud of something real.
I never thought about a tornado hitting my hometown for a million years, but now that it has, I know not to take such simple things for granted. Here I am complaining that my printer is running out of ink, and it's too cold in my house. How selfish one can be in such a time as this.
The tornado is changing our town, our community, and all of its people, including myself. So, in some ways, I thank God for this tornado. And I will never forget what I've seen, heard, and experienced throughout this disaster.
After lying in bed for about a half hour, my mom yelled upstairs to me to run to the basement. We have to go outdoors to get to our basement, so I ran in mud puddles and rain to get the nasty shelter. We sat down there listening to what we could on the scanner. First the tornado touching on the corner of SR 19 and CR 1350. Then it was hitting CR 7 and US 6. And finally it was gone, after wiping out CR 9 and 54. Within about five minutes, Nappanee was changed. It seemed like hours had passed and then our power went out. Time: 11 pm...Sirens everywhere...officially can't sleep...work in less than six hours.
I went to sleep and woke up a few hours later to get ready for a memorable first day of work. After taking luke warm shower with no water pressure in the light of five candles, I made myself somewhat presentable for work. I drove in the pitch black darkness that slowly got lit up by the emergency vehicles. I arrived at Martin's and walked in, only to discover that today would most definitely not be my first day of work. I was sent home since they had no idea if/when they were going to open. It was as I was walking back outside, that I decided to see how bad the damage really was. Even though it was still dark outside, I walked up to the corner of CR 7 and US 6. I felt completely helpless then, and even more so as I went up later with my grandparents. All I could do was pray and hope that everyone was alright, especially those that I knew had been hit.
The day passed on. Our power eventually turned on around noon. My friend wanted to come to my house to hang out. Normally laughing and having a great time with her, I felt empty inside. She kept saying how she wanted to go get something to eat and to go look at the damage. Even though every food business was closed, looking at more damage was the last thing I wanted to do. I got the same feeling I had on September 11th many years ago, except this time, it was my own hometown. It was a mile away from my house. People that I knew were without everything. I felt guilty that I had been so lucky as to have not gotten hit. It was devastating.
The weekend went by and I found myself finally letting out all my thoughts to my boyfriend in our church parking lot. I was using fun events over the weekend to hide everything that was inside me. At times I focused to much on my life and none on the reality of others'. I thought about how Nappanee was beginning to get a negative look upon it, and hopefully this event could bring us all together like the community that we supposedly are. I thought about places I had been in the past year, such places that have been ripped away and no longer exist. I thought about time. And how quickly it passes, yet certain moments can last forever. I thought about how fortunate Nappanee really is. Even though we got so much damage, enough to catch the national news' eye, we had not one fatality. Yeah, buildings are gone. Houses demolished. Our favorite fast food places in pieces. But in some ways, this tornado was a good thing for us. It made us all realize that God was watching and protecting everyone. That He has a reason for everyone to be here today. And that He wanted to bring the communities together to work for a common goal, so we can become proud of something real.
I never thought about a tornado hitting my hometown for a million years, but now that it has, I know not to take such simple things for granted. Here I am complaining that my printer is running out of ink, and it's too cold in my house. How selfish one can be in such a time as this.
The tornado is changing our town, our community, and all of its people, including myself. So, in some ways, I thank God for this tornado. And I will never forget what I've seen, heard, and experienced throughout this disaster.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)