Change vs Regret

If a person wished to change something in their past, does that necessarily mean that there is regret in that person's life?

Now, I'm not usually one to regret the past; in fact, I would never say the word "regret" as it referred to my life. I've always liked to look at it as the common "Learn from your mistakes" approach. But what about things that we wish could be different, but that weren't up to us? I've had many instances in which I wish I could change things, but I had no power or authority to do so. And lately, I've just been wondering "What if?" What if I had done this, then would that be different? What if I hadn't gone there, then would that have still happened? What if I was just patient, then would there still be a friendship? What if I had started this earlier, would I be farther in life?

Most of these questions have specifics behind them, but in each circumstance, does questioning certain aspects of your life always mean that you regret something? If I could change things to make them better, does that necessarily mean that they are bad now?

If I had the power to change anything in my life, it would most likely be 'relationships' in a condensed bubble. I look at my life and think about how certain relationships with friends, family, and even God could be altered by one or two moves.

In friendships, as complicated as some are, there are unexplainable occurances that unfortunately can't be changed. But in others, I have to be honest and take the blame. Friendships...true, honest, amazing, worth-while friendships are nearly impossible to find. And even though I've been able to make some awesome friends, there are still some friendships that I've always wondered about...wondering if they'd last longer if this or that happened, or if they were stronger had I done this, etc.

My relationships with family are...well, not as strong as I've wanted. I grew up with just my mom, so we are able to maintain a pretty descent relationship, but that one got kind of rocky in the teen years of course. With her being a single mom, there were relationships with potential family members, aka the men she'd date every once in awhile and his family. And I have seen them come and go. Things like that where I have no decisions in the matter, but I wish they had stayed or something. The remainder of my family and the relationships with those people have been rather nonexistent. I'd change that, or at least attempt to change that, if I could go back in time. I guess it's not too late to get in touch with family members, but there's just so much time to make up that half of the time, it seems pointless.

My relationship with God is something that I often ponder over. I've only recently (within the past 4-5 years) gotten to know Him. I never grew up in a Christian home, yet I wasn't influenced in a negative way in my life leading up to my freshman year of high school. I've always wondered what my life would be like if I had began my walk with Him earlier. I mean, here I am, a freshman in college, and there are so many things in the Bible that a little kid could recite to me that I would have no clue about. I have so much learning to do, but it seems as though it is nearly impossible to make up 15 whole years... There are so many questions, but so many answers that it overflows my mind!

As much as everyone would love to say that they have no regrets in there life, I have realized that it cannot be the case. Whether big or small, I think everyone has slight regret in some form or another, including myself. And when we say that we are going to "learn from our mistakes", I think in some cases, we mean that we are going to "learn from our regrets, in hopes not to have anymore."

PS...I ramble alot...so if none of this makes sense to you, it'll take many more words to sort it out :)