The retreat has been over for two days now and the summer has officially begun.
While I excited for the future that God has planned for me, I know that Satan is hard at work to distract me. Only two days later, I get word from home that my Aunt Linda has passed away from a heart attack. My mom continues talking on the phone, but my eyes flood with tears. The tears disappear quickly and I feel nothing. As if my body is completely numb to her passing. Deep in my heart, I know I will never see her again. But why does that not hurt me? What's wrong with me? She's been out of my life for so long that it just doesn't connect that the time apart would now last forever.
I know I am called to be a light to my family. But it's things like this that seem to raise a wall on what change I could possibly do. I think of my Grandma who has just lost her daughter. I weep at the thought of losing her most of all. She is the glue, the prayer warrior, the most Godly woman I've ever known in my entire life.
The Effect speaks to me.
"The only reason there's darkness is because there is an absence of light."
Maybe the future of our family is where God will use me. I can only be obedient to Him to find out how my light will shine.
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