We gather in a circle. Eight fellow interns. Five leaders. All staring at the, now lit, candle that lies before us. The singing bowl begins. And the time has come for us to reflect on 'Where we're from.' Time is given for us to think about and reflect upon our past. The people, places, senses, saying, and memories that have shaped us. I've dreaded this since before the internship began. What do I share? What do I keep to myself? How much do I really trust these people that I just met two days ago? How much will others say? What will they think about what I share? What will Terry say? Or Derry? Or the other pastors who have working with me for the past year? They don't know. Maybe I should keep it that way. My heart beats faster and I know that I'll be taking the biggest leap of faith if I'm able to share. I know that my biggest fear of the summer will be tested. I don't know its result, but I know I must be honest in sharing "Where I'm From."
Community Circle Rules:
- Choose for yourself when/how to verbalize
- Invitation/not invasion
- Embrace difference
- Listen with an open mind
- Speak only for yourself
- Make space for silence
- No fixing
- Be open to learning
- Look with soft eyes
- Observe confidentiality
While it was a big step to share with 13 other people the childhood I lived, the beliefs we had, the mistakes I've made, and the victory that was won, I feel that it's much too difficult to retype my poem of my past. Those who have heard it, remember it, feel it, weep and celebrate from it.
It's done. I have overcome my fear. Tears stream down my cheek. I feel a sense of relief. But that feeling is quickly overcome with doubts and fears on what I have just done. In the midst of a quiet room, the enemy whispers. I won't believe his lies. My story is told. And I am reassured later that not only am I not a mistake, but it is not a mistake that I am here. Nobody is judging me and everybody is listening with an open heart and is expectant for the journey that lies ahead.
No comments:
Post a Comment