Lessons Learned

Back to blogging? Yeah, for now at least. With a busy summer almost over and most likely a busy school year, who knows. But for now, it's all me. Nothing in hiding. Just me, Megan Rendall, being my true self.

I would fill you in on the summer, but that would take way too long. It's been a fun summer, that's for sure. And like everyone says, it went by super fast. I spent most of my time either working (still at Starbucks), hanging out with the greatest people ever (the young adults from NMC), or helping out with junior high by being a small group leader (also NMC). This summer had its ups and downs, just as life usually does. I gained friends. I lost friends. I laughed. I cried. Everything happened this summer. I was challenged by God in many ways, and feel as though I am on the right path with Him now. My life was being controlled by other people and things, and I have been able to renew my relationship with him through the encouragement of those around me and through the hardships of the past. I am not ready for school, but at the same time I am hoping for a new beginning. A chance to enjoy the college life, no strings attached. Still obeying Him and living for my Savior, I plan to have a different life this school year. I am not going to worry about friendships or relationships. They will come and go as God plans them to. I might get hurt this year, but I know that I have the love and support of everyone around me. I am ready for change.

My biggest struggle is letting go. It's hard for me, but I am admitting it now. I have had great friends in the past, ones that I would honestly die for. And as time moves on, so do we. It's been hard trusting God with the future, even the present is hard enough. My love for those friends will not change, even if theirs does. I know that I will be replaced by others, and that is hard for me to bear. But that is life, I guess. I know that I may not like what people have become or where life takes them, but I have to accept it. I know that I can try to keep those friendships, but in most cases they are completely over. One of those friendships in particular has been the hardest for me to deal with. I thought I had let it go. I thought I had moved on. I thought I was completely over them. But a rush of emotions came back right when I realized it was done for sure. I will miss this person. I will miss the great times we had together. I will miss their family and being a part of it. I will miss the comforting this person brought to me. I will miss the silence, where we understood each other without saying a word. I will miss the times where we were completely vulnerable and open with each other. I will miss talking to them and being encouraged by them. But most of all, I will miss the love that is now a grain of sand along a beach. They have moved on, and as hard as it is for me, I must move on also. I have learned so much from the past, but the thing I need to learn the most right now is how to give it all up.